Five Times Rodney was Silent
by x Varda x
Summary: As it says on the tin: Five Times Rodney was Silent.  Gen, Rodney whump.


**Title: **Five Times Rodney was Silent  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Gen, Rodney whump  
><strong>Words: <strong>700  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG

**A/N: **Written based on an old, old prompt of the same name on **sg1_five_things **comm over on LJ.

**1.**

The giant bog monster of P3X-888 rendered Rodney speechless. While the rest of the team were shooting bullets or hacking off limbs, Rodney let his guard down for a moment to take a couple of photos for the zoologists.

"This isn't the time for happy snaps!" John shouted, but it was too late.

The creature wrapped a slimy tentacle around Rodney's chest and lifted him off the ground. It tightened, cutting off his air and crushing his midsection. He dropped the camera, turned red-faced and shut his eyes, unable to even breathe, let alone shout for help.

Ronon chopped off the offending tentacle in a spray of green goo and Rodney fell and lay still. The monster retreated in a volley of P90 fire and his team gathered round while Rodney gasped and shuddered, holding his ribs and reaching for his camera buried in the mud a few metres away.

**2.**

John watched as nonsensical code rolled up Rodney's computer screen at such a speed he had to look away after a couple of seconds to prevent motion sickness.

They were in a newly discovered lab on the South Pier and Rodney's eyes were wide and flitted left to right as he absorbed all the data.

"Wow," he said.

"What is it?"

Rodney glanced at John, his face astonished and gleeful while his mouth hung open, "Just… wow." Rodney shook his head with a grin and went back to staring at the data.

All that John saw was a slightly damp and dingy lab, but Rodney saw something else – a secret revealed only to him – and an amazing one at that.

**3.**

John shouted, "There are five darts closing in!"

Rodney typed on his control console in the Puddle Jumper, his fingers moved so quickly they were almost a blur.

"McKay! We only have four drones!"

Rodney held up a hand for a moment, a hand that said, _'Not enough time to explain to idiots,'_then kept on typing, the keystrokes so fast it sounded like heavy rainfall in the Jumper cockpit.

John sped the Jumper onwards and wove a path through the energy blasts aimed at them. One bolt skimmed the drive pod and the Jumper spun.

Rodney hit the last button with a flourish and all four drones shot out. They headed straight for the middle of the five pursuing darts and detonated. The drones' power combined created a massive explosion that took out all of the darts and only nudged the Jumper without causing any damage.

John glanced at Rodney and saw the other man smiling smugly as he flexed his fingers.

**4.**

It was just supposed to be just another recon mission, but, as usual, the natives were not happy to see Sheppard's team.

The four of them were disarmed due to overwhelming numbers and had their weapons and tac vests taken away while their hands were tied behind their backs.

They had the foresight to gag McKay, but only him. He grunted into the material wadded in his mouth, but no coherent words could escape.

As it turned out, they were suspicious of any newcomers and not really hostile, just overly cautious. The team were left tied up while Teyla conducted trade negotiations. Much to his annoyance and Sheppard's amusement, they left Rodney gagged throughout the whole ordeal.

**5.**

It was raining on P4X-336. Enough that the hike from the gate to the nearest settlement was very muddy and exhausting. It took half a day to get there and night was closing in once they arrived.

Rodney had bitched the entire way, but the moment he shucked off his soggy clothes and settled under a pile of blankets on one of the beds provided by the locals, he drifted off to sleep straight away.

John lay awake in the other bed nearby and listened to the rain on the roof of the hut. It wasn't long before soft snores and snuffles began emanating from his friend – loud enough to be heard over the sound of the water.

John grinned and closed his eyes. Trust Rodney to talk non stop while he was awake and get in the last sound while he was sleeping too. The man just couldn't be silent.


End file.
